Bodyguards from Hell
by ElementPriestess
Summary: Dumbledore hires teens to protect Harry.He doesn't know what kind of guards they really are. Things might even get even more crazy with the guards around!DISCONTINUED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE


Disclaimer- I do not own anything but my OC. My cousin owns the rest of the OCs. ( She has a lot but I might get an equal amount as her. She's helping me with this fic. She is HolyMistress. She is also the one that's typing this so she'll jump in and type her own stuff. She's a faster typer than me. Which is true.

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Chapter One- An offer that cannot be refused

Rita's POV

I couldn't believe it. Here I was, standing in the rain, waiting for an old crackpot. Just when I was about to crack, he FINALLY stepped out of the shadows. I was about ready to punce on him for making me wait. Five. FUCKING. Hours. In. The. RAIN. With no umbrella. By the looks of it, he seemed to have some kind of beer in his hands...

Just great. I'm here standing in the rain for five whole fucking hours with no umbrella and gallons of water pouring on me. While the crackpot over there was in a bar of some kind and getting a nice warm glass of beer to drink AND he had a umbrella. I was going to HURT him badly.

Regular POV

Dumbledore stepped out of the shadows. He failed to hide his laughter at Rita. Rita was about to out her katana and chop the old blockhead's head off when one of her cousins came out of nowhere. Rita narrowed her eyes.

"What do you want!" She was absolutely pissed. Failing to hide her disappointment of his interruption, she turned back to Dumbledore, inwardly sulking. Kaze snorted.

"You should behave yourself. I'm older, smarter, and stronger so don't even think about it. This is a mission and we are not allowed to screw up. Got that?" He gritted his teeth at her. Rita was now cursing her luck. Out of all the partners she could have had, it just HAD to be her oldest cousin Kaze Hikari. Kaze smirked sadistically when he saw his cousin muttering to herself.

Out of all the shinobu he knew, his cousin Rita was the easiest to piss off. Takes at least 2 minutes until she starts thinking of ways to brutally kill her fellow shinobu if they made her wait that long. Same goes for her employers. Sad thing is, everybody makes her wait just to see her pissed off and start cursing. She taught everybody that heard a LOT of new curses in every language for their benefits. Even though she doesn't look like it, she's a scholar type of person.

Dumbledore coughed to get their attention because it seemed that they had forgotten about him. Kaze turned to look at him. Soon, Kaze was glaring daggers into Dumblebore's skull. Like Rita, he absolutely despised old men. They tend to pretend they know more than they actually do. Dumbledore showed them an object that shined in the moonlight.

"I will give you this if you protect a boy named Harry Potter. I'll tell you the details when we're in agreement to this trade," He said to them with a twinkle in his eyes. This pissed Kaze and Rita off like HELL. Just when they thought he was serious, the twinkle in his eyes just ruined the whole thing.

Diagon Alley

Rita was very creeped out at this point. International Magic was everywhere in this area. She was absolutely the WORST in I.M. She hated being bad at things. You could actually see her right eye and Kaze's right middle finger twitching. They hated when people were better than them. Now add the fact that these people were pros compared to them and rubbing that in their faces and you've got some serious anger issues though Kaze didn't show. Rita was absolutely furious.

Rita grabbed a piece of parchment from one of her many pockets and looked at the items they needed. The first thing they needed were...

Wands.

Just great. Now Rita was ready to rip the parchment in half. She despised wands because they were associated with I.M. But they had to so they stepped into the shop. They suddenly felt embarrassed.Two sixteen year olds buying wands that they were supposed to have when they were ten. Long waiting ensued.

One hour later

They were both very bored by this time. Kaze suddenly saw a bell on the only desk there. His finger started twitching again. It couldn't be...Could it! Rita saw this and now her eye started twitching again. She reached out her hand and slammed it on the bell. Surprisely, it didn't break. Must've been a spell. Then, Mr. Ollivander came out from behind a shelf on a ladder with wheels.

"Hello. How may I help you?" When he said this, Kaze was reaching for his kunais and Rita was reaching for her katana. Mr. Ollivander didn't seem to notice any danger or he just chose to ignore it. Mr. Ollivander took out his measuring tape which started moving on its own.

"Now, who wants to go first?" Rita and Kaze glanced at each other then Rita stepped forward. Suddenly, she looked like she regretted it because the measuring tape started measuring her arm and other places. She looked horrified and so did Kaze since it was going to be his turn next.

Another hour later

Rita finally got her wand. Behind her, were a large pile of rejected wands that touched the ceiling. All around her were broken objects, scorched wood and a smell of burnt rubber. Kaze was in the only chair that was still there. He still had his emotionless face on but inside he was shaking like hell. Imagine how long it would take him to find his wand. Rita's wand was a 12-inch sakura wood with a dragon scale core.

Kaze stood up and took his turn. His turn took an hour and a half. His pile of rejected wands added to the already rejected wands filled half the entire store. The chaos created was above horrible to say the least. It was an absolute hell in the store. After they paid for their wands, Mr. Ollivander quickly shooed them out of the store so he could clean up. Next was the clothing store and Rita almost screamed when she saw they needed to wear robes.

They quickly walked to the store to find a blond boy and a red haired boy arguing about something. The red haired boy was turning as red as his hair. Kaze and Rita could hardly contain their laughter. Soon, the red haired boy aimed a fist at the blond boy and he just missed by a centimeter. Rita was about to burst because it was such a easy shot. The blond boy was so slow.

It was very agonizing for Kaze and Rita to watch because it was such an amateur battle. Soon after, the red haired boy was pulled away from the blond boy by a brunette. While she was dragging him away, she whispered in the boy's ear and thanks to the shinobu's sensitive hearing, they heard the whole thing.

"Stop being such a baby Ron! You were attracting too much attention! Look, those two teenagers are still looking at us," Rita and Kaze assumed they were talking about them so they jerked their heads away. Once everything calmed down, they got their clothing and went to the bookstore. They then found something very surprising.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" Rita was screaming and the other occupents in the store stared disappovingly at her. Some parents even covered their younger children's ears. Anywho, the person she was shouting at was none other than her...

Second-oldest cousin,Violet. Born on the same day and best of friends with Rita. Also a bookworm and wears glasses when reading and only reading. Violet sighed, tearing her eyes away from the book she was reading and took off her glasses. She looked at her brother and cousin with a bored expression.

"What? Aren't you happy to see your favorite cousin that is also your best friend and born on the same day as you?" Violet put on her reading glasses again and turned back to the book she was reading after she said those words. Rita had to pick up her jaw from the floor because of the shock of seeing her favorite cousin that was born on the same day as her.

"Of COURSE I'm happy to see you just surprised to see you in a place like this," Rita replied awkwardly because of all the stares she still got. Kaze had left them alone to buy their books and maybe more books. Violet closed her book and replaced it back on its shelf.

"I'll tell you later on why I'm here. Anyway, I found these very good books that I know you will like. Kaze's probably getting some more advanced books for all of us. I'll show you where the books are," With that, Violet turned around and walked deeper into the store. Rita hurried to follow. There they find the brunette from the clothing shop. The girl was surrounded a large amount of books and had her head in one of them.

"HEY! You're that girl from the clothing shop!" Rita exclaimed. The brunette lifted her head out of the book reluctantly and soon blushed.

"Ehehehe. You saw that?" The brunette giggled nervously. Violet just stood in the corner, listening in on their conversation at the same time, reading her book. How she did it, I have no idea.

"Yeah, I was one of those 'teenagers' you talked about," Rita used her middle and index finger for emphasize when she said the word teenagers. Think Dr. Evil from Austin Powers if you ever watched the movie. This made the brunette blush even harder.

"Sorry about that. It's just that, my friend Ron was being an idiot again. Oh! I forgot. I'm Hermoine Granger. I'm a student in Hogwarts and am in the Gryffindor house," The girl we now know as Hermoine greeted. Oh my gosh. I spelled 'Hermoine' and 'Gryffindor' correctly without the book. O I suck at spelling just so you know. Anywho, let's just go back to the story. Rita had perked up at the word Hogwarts.

"Do you know Harry Potter?" She questioned innocently when in her head, she was thinking demented thoughts on what to do to Harry. Hermoine seemed to buy the act. Then she suddenly groaned.

"You don't happen to be a Harry Potter fangirl? Because if you are, Harry will just run away from you," Hermoine pointed out. Rita let out what seemed to sound like a strangled scream. If Harry ran away from her, that would only make her mission harder, damn it!

"Are you fucking crazy! Hell no! No way, ah-uh, not in THIS lifetime. I would sooner die than become his fangirl," Rita was starting to rant. Violet sighed from her corner wand walked over to them. She proceeded to bonk Rita on the head to stop her from ranting.

"I think we have collected enough information. Let us proceed to buy our books and meet Kaze at the inn we are staying at," Violet suggested in a hollow and emotionless voice. She then walked out of the book store with a pile of paid books in her arms. Rita pouted and followed her. Before she left, Rita waved at Hermoine.

"It was nice meeting you Hermoine! I bet we'll get along just fine when we meet again!" Rita winked at her and left, leaving Hermoine sitting at her table alone and baffled. She shook her head and decided it wasn't worth thinking about.

At the Leaky Cauldron

Kaze had ordered three butterbeers, knowing Violet and Rita would be there in 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1. Just as he predicted, the door opened and he was greeted with a pile of books and two girls. Kaze raised an eyebrow at the books in front of him. Rita's head peeked out from behind them and smilied.

"Hi Kaze! We met Hermoine, the brunette from the clothing shop. We're guessing she's a friend of Harry. Looks like we got a lead!" Rita explained.Violet had her head stuck in a book again but pulled out of it when she heard all the We's in Rita's explaination.

"You mean that YOU met Hermoine and YOU are guessing that she is Harry's friend and YOU got a lead. I'm not in this remember? I'm here for backup in the school. Turns out they needed a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Violet said with amusement. Kaze and Rita raised their eyebrows at her explaination.

"You're the DADA teacher? Man, we can teach that class in our sleep and when were you our backup?" Rita asked with her eye twitching. She was thinking along the lines of "I don't think they trust us" or "I don't think we're capable enough"... Was it because they were teenagers! Violet stopped her train of thought when she spoke.

"Yes, I'm the DADA teacher and I know we can teach it in our sleep. And I was your backup ever since you accepted the mission. It seems that the Hokage doesn't trust any of us. He even sent older shinobu after us to keep us in line," While she was speaking, she jerked her thumb at one VERY suspicious person who was staring at them. Oh my fucking god. I'm getting better at spelling. Usually I have to consult the almightly dictionary for the spelling of suspicious. Hooray! Back to the story. Sorry about that cuz!

The person immediately turned away when he saw Violet jerk her thumb at him. Kaze's finger started twitching at this point and Rita's eye would twitch every few seconds. Even Violet seemed to be twitching her right ring finger.

"They really don't trust us young people... Can we kill him soon?" Rita was desperate. She REALLY wanted to kill the Hokage.Kaze glared at her and Violet shook her head. Both seemed desperate too though. They hated being misjudged. Kaze gave them their butterbeers and tried to calm themselves down. Soon, after they finsihed drinking, they grabbed the pile of books and went to their rooms. In a matter of minutes, they were all sound asleep.

The Next Day - Diagon Alley Continued

Rita woke up to find bright sunlight streaming through the windows filled the room with light. She looked at the clock next to her bed. It was 9 A.M. Her eyes widened and she scrambled out of bed, but instead of climbing out safely, she fell off the bed and the blankets followed her. She was again entangled by her blankets.

She swore at getting entangled again. It took her 5 whole minutes to untangle herself. She quickly put on her contacts next to her bed and left the room after getting dressed.

Rita ran downstairs only to find Violet and Kaze eatting breakfast.

"Why didn't you fucking wait for me!" Rita fumed. Kaze just continued eating while Violet finished eating and started reading her book again. Rita gaped. 'Those bastards are ignoring me!' She thought and started thinking of ways to kill them. Kaze finished eating and sighed.

"You better eat breakfast. We're leaving for the train at 10 A.M. Did you pack your bags?" He questioned and grabbed a big book from a pile next to them. Rita's eyes widened. She smacked herself on the forehead.

"Shit! Kuso! Shimatta! Damn! Fuck! Zakennayo!" Rita cursed in every other language she knew. Rita ran upstairs and in 10 minutes flat came back down with everything ready. She smirked. "Now I'm ready, so what are we going to do while we wait?" Rita grabbed a book from the pile.

"We're going to go back to the bookstore and read some more books for our classes. You two are five years behind here and we need to catch up. I AM going to be a professor and I'm going to have to teach you about the dark arts. Hope you two can entertain me long enough so I don't snap from all the weaklings there. It's going to be very boring there. I'm still wondering why I even took the job. Must've been so tired of being locked up in my room," Violet said, laying down her book and picking up another. Rita rolled her eyes.

"It's probably because you are really good with dark arts and you were bored because you were holed up in your room reading only. Anywho, COME ON AND LET'S GO TO THE BOOKSTORE!" Rita exclaimed at the end. Her eyes brightened at the thought of books. Kaze finished reading his last book and nodded. Violet put down the book she was rereading and put the pile of books in a separate bag.

"We'll send these books back home later and tell our parents to add them to our library. I'll bet they'll be very happy to read new books," Violet said dragging the bag to her room and then coming back down. Kaze ran up the stairs and brought back most of their money to buy more books. Rita was already at the door waiting for them both. Once they finished, they ran to the store.

To be continued!

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Zakkennayo - Fuck 

Kuso - Damn

Shimatta - Shit

Gomen - Sorry

... And that's about it I guess. The crazy stuff like the spelling talk and stuff were my cousin. You can check how my OC looks like by going to my profile. My cousin's OCs are in her profile. Remember, she's HolyMistress. Hope you liked the chapter. Next chapter is the train! Every first part of a chapter starts with Rita's POV. Who loves Rita's cursing?

HM: ME! ME! ME!

That would be my cuz. -.-' She had too much sugar today. She ate jell-o that was made with apple juice, cookies, drank milk and now chewing gum. She's a bit in the head but she doesn't care.

HM: WHAAAAAAAWHOOOOOOOOOO! Sugar will take over the world! All bow before the almightly sugar! Hey! Bow damn it! Bow I tell you! Why aren't you fucking bowing! Lian, I told you to bow!

...No fucking way.

HM: Grrr... Then I'll make you! runs after Lian

OO Oh shit! Uh, gotta go. Bye! runs away from the deranged sugar high cousin

Rita: ...That was distrubing. Anywho, R&R! Flames will be given to Blood who will throw it back at you. Constructive critism is greatly appreciated.

HM: Hahaha. I made you bow! In your face!

-.-;;; Fine you win. But your my cousin so I can't hurt you like I do to my annoying classmates.

Rita: ... HM. Lian. I just ended the chapter. Let's go.

... You did? Gomen. Anyway, the next chapter 'Flames of the Phoenix!' and the appearance of Kaze's younger sister Mizu! Ja ne now!

HM: Ja ne and don't forget to bow to the almightly sugar! He will save us all.

Violet: Bye.

Kaze: ...


End file.
